True Nirvana

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Purdue Engineering - Where Your Best Hasn't Been Good Enough Since 1874.

This post is dedicated to the 3 greatest inventions for the lazy person's life.

The greatest invention of all time is likely the handicap door button. There are 3 reasons for this: 1. It's a button... what more reason do you need? 2. You don't have to exert the energy to open the door yourself. 3. You get that warm fuzzy feeling for opening the door for the next few people to come in. Not only that but it's a more humble way of offering to open the door for them. No thanks is required and they have no idea that they are part of the reason that you pressed that button. I know what you are probably thinking right now, and the answer is no. Using the handicap door buttons for your own personal use is nothing like parking in a handicap parking spot. By pressing said handicap button you are helping any handicapped people behind you as well.

The second greatest invention is most definitely the scientific calculator. This single invention has made the majority of my mathematical education thus far nearly pointless. The only reason I'd ever have to learn how to hand graph the equation y=2x^4+23x^2+9x+11 is if I don't have a scientific calculator on hand. Now I don't know about you but I'd rather carry a calculator around with me for the rest of my life than wasting as many countless hours as I have learning math just in case.

Lastly but not leastly is ducktape. This is a multipurpose tool for fixing just about anything. What the lock on your door is broken? Well ducktape the door shut. You need a new wallet? Just make one out of ducktape. You're building a house but you're out of nails? Well ducktape the 2x4's together. You see ducktape can fix anything at little effort.

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